Taking back these words
by inspiration.for.more
Summary: Lucas&Peyton. A devastating tragedy ended their relationship. Two years later, they meet again but she's with someone else and everything's different. Will he fight for her? Can he make her believe in their love again? Set after season 4.
1. Two words to remember

**Chapter 1 : Two words to remember**

Peyton Sawyer couldn't help but stare at the two last words of the e-mail she had just received : _Lucas Scott_.

A mixture of feelings had just resurfaced and submerged her. She couldn't help but feel, all at the same time, sadness, regret, guilt, nostalgia, remorse and even love. She shook her head, trying to shake all those feelings, especially the last one. Love. No, it had been too long, they had hurt each other too much, she couldn't be thinking about that. Besides she was in love with Julian now and they were happy. Of course she still loved Lucas, but as a friend. « Who am I kidding? » she thought to herself « Lucas and I haven't spoken in 2 years, he can't even be qualified as a friend anymore. » She closed her eyes for a minute trying to think straight. She hated that a simple e-mail, that wasn't even addressed exclusively to her, could make her feel so lost and insecure.

« Hey, what you looking at? »

Peyton's eyes flew back open. She turned her head so she could see Julian standing there in the doorway, a warm, reassuring and loving smile on his face. That sight calmed her down immediately. She smiled back at him, reminded of why she loved him so much.

« Nothing » she said « just an e-mail »

« Mmmh..mysterious, secretive and oh, not to mention a bitch sometimes! I'm starting to wonder if I chose the right girlfriend » Julian teased while he entered the room.

Peyton laughed, getting up the computer chair. She went to him, put her hands around his neck and looking at him seductively she said:

« Oh really? Cause this girlfriend here was thinking about cooking a meal for her lovely boyfriend tonight, and maybe, just maybe, he would have been allowed some yummy dessert if you know what I mean » She paused and then said « But, I guess if he's having second thoughts, I could just find someone else who would appreciate my desert»

« Yummy desert huh? » Julian said taking her face in her hands and approaching his head so their lips would only be inches away from each other.

« Oh, very yummy » she smiled, also moving her head forward so their lips were now barely touching.

« I always knew you were the right girlfriend for me » he whispered before kissing her passionately.

Yes, she loved Julian, he made her happy and they were good together, away from all the drama. Being in L.A. meant she didn't have to constantly be reminded about what had happened two years ago. Of course, she thought about it everyday, but no one here knew what had happened. Not even Julian. This made it easier to avoid thinking about it, and helped her to ignore the void and the guilt she had been feeling ever since that day, when everything had changed.

With that, Peyton decided she was going to ignore the e-mail. She knew it would only cause trouble and force her to relive that terrible night and she was not ready for that.

Neither was she ready to face Lucas Scott again.


	2. Things only best friends know

**A/N : **Just wanted to say thank you for the reviews ! It really means a lot since this is my first ever fanfiction and I have no idea if I'm doing good or not. So again, thank you :)

**Chapter 2 :** **things only best friends know **

« Oh ho » Peyton thought.

Her mobile was ringing and she could see Brooke's face smiling at her on the screen. It meant that she had also read the e-mail. Peyton waited a few moments before answering, knowing that her decision wouldn't please her best friend.

« Hey! » she said, trying to sound as cheerful as she could

« Finally! I thought you were never going to answer! But no time for 'how are you's' or anything else, we'll have loads of time to catch up in a week! All I want to know is when's your flight? »

« Hum, - » Peyton begin, before being cut off

« Wait, you did read the e-mail right? »

« Yeah I did, but, - »

« Great ! Because I had an amazing idea! I rented a beach house in Tree Hill for Julian, you, Rachel and I to stay for however long we want. I thought we could make it a longer stay, maybe one week or two you know? So we can all catch up properly and everything! What do you think? » she squealed, clearly excited at the thought of them all living together.

« Brooke...I'm sorry but I'm not going. » she said hesitantly

« Wait, what? Come on, we promised! Four years ago at the river court, we said we would all meet again there! You _have_ to come! » she paused and then gently said « is this about Lucas and the- » she stopped not knowing if Peyton wanted to hear that word.

Peyton sighed, knowing what her best friend had been about to say. Brooke was the only one she had confided in when tragedy had striked. Her best friend had really been great with her. She'd left her work behind and flown over to L.A. to look after Peyton until four months later, she was finally feeling better and ready to face the world again.

« Yes » she admitted, « it's just going to be too hard. Seeing Lucas is only going to remind me of what happened and you know how bad and dark it got, you're the one who looked after me. And I just don't want to return to that, I don't want to be that person again...I'm scared » she said her voice breaking a little with her last words.

« Peyton » Brooke said softly « I won't let you go back to that, I promise! And besides, don't you want to see Haley again? Nathan? Skills? The others? »

Peyton smiled « Yes of course I do, I miss them. » she admitted « and I miss you. »

« I miss you too ! And don't worry I'll be there for you. Plus, you have mister hotty Julian now » she added, trying to make her best friend laugh a bit.

It worked and it was good for Brooke to hear the sound of her laughter. But then Peyton suddenly stopped laughing and said seriously « But Brooke? I still haven't told him. I know you said I should and I tried but I just couldn't, I don't want him to be disappointed in me. No one knows but you okay? I feel guilty enough without needing everyone in Tree Hill knowing and blaming me.»

« Honey, how many times do I have to say this : it wasn't your fault. You have got to stop blaming yourself »

« I know » she lied, « but please don't say anything »

Brooke sighed, she did not think it was a good idea for Peyton to keep everything buried inside but she gave in anyway : « Okay, I promise. » Then realising what that promise meant she asked excitedly « So does that mean you're coming to Tree Hill ? »

« Yes, I guess that means I'm coming » she replied, smiling despite herself

Brooke shrieked at the end of the phone and Peyton couldn't help but chuckle.

They both talked for a while more, organising the date, time and everything practical for their arrival in Tree Hill. When she hang up she was confused by her mixed feelings : apprehension but also slight excitement.

All that was left now was for her to tell Julian.


	3. Breakfast news and butterflies

**A/N : **Thank you for all the reviews, it is really appreciated! And I know some of you are waiting for some Leyton but don't worry, it's coming soon! :)

* * *

**Chapter 3 : breakfast news and butterflies**

Three days had passed and she still hadn't told Julian. It was a sunday morning and she was laying in bed, thinking. She was sure by now that Brooke had already booked the plane tickets for them all. Her best friend had insisted on doing it for the four of them and she had agreed that she would pay her back once in Tree Hill. Peyton knew that Brooke had proposed this agreement because she was scared that Peyton might change her mind again about going back to Tree Hill. And to be honest, she was glad Brooke knew her so well because she knew she wouldn't have had the nerves to book a flight back to Tree Hill by herself. « I'm such a loser » she thought to herself « Can't even book a flight and now I can't even tell Julian something so simple »

She didn't know why it scared her so much, she knew that Julian would understand and would agree to go with her. But something was holding her back. Maybe it was the fact that telling him would make it seem official in her mind, when for now, it was just not sinking in that she was returning to Tree Hill. Or maybe it was the fact that she knew deep down that going back was a threat to their relationship. She shook her head, hating herself for even thinking this last thought. She got up, breathed in slowly, plucked up her courage and walked to the kitchen, to where Julian was eating his breakfast.

« Hey! » she said almost too abruptly.

Julian looked up and smiled « Hey sleeping beauty » « Breakfast? » he added getting up

« No wait I'm fine, hum, I need to talk to you »

Julian sat back down, a concerned look on his face. « What's up? »

Peyton joined him at the kitchen table and sat on the chair in front of him.

« You know the e-mail I was looking at the other day? »

« Yeah? » he said a bit confused

« Well it was from Lucas »

« Oh. »

« But it wasn't just for me » she said quickly, seeing Julian's face. « It was an invitation by e-mail, sent to all of us. You know to Brooke, Rachel and the others »

« An invitation? Is Lucas getting married? »

Peyton tried to smile, hating the fact that hearing the words 'Lucas' and the words 'getting married' together, hurt her.

« No no, it's not that » « You remember when I told you about high school? About how we were a group of friends? » Julian nodded « Well, at the end of high school we promised that four years from then, we would all meet again and nothing would have changed. Except, everything has changed. » she realised and paused. Then shaking herself up she added « anyway, the e-mail was an invitation for a party at the Rivercourt so we can all meet again..it's this Friday, Brooke wants to stay a whole week. And the invitation says guests are allowed, so do you want to go? »

Julian hesitated a moment « Are you sure that's okay with you? »

« Of course! And besides, Brooke's already booked our tickets, so you kind of have no choice »

Julian laughed « well in that case, I'd be happy to come, Peyton. »

* * *

**Five days later**

Julian had met Brooke twice since he had been with Peyton. Once when she had come to visit her best friend for a few days and the other, when the couple had flown over to New York for the week-end to visit her and her roommate Rachel. All four of them had gotten along really well and he had seen how much they meant to Peyton.

Julian had never met Lucas though. Of course, he knew who he was : the famous author whose love for his girlfriend had been described in a book, for the entire world to read. He was aware that Peyton had a copy of that book somewhere at home but he had never wanted to read it, nor had Peyton ever asked him to. They both tacitly pretended like the book didn't exist. However, Julian didn't have to read it to know that they'd both loved each other very much in the past, he could see that he had meant a lot to her from the little she'd ever wanted to talk about him. But he accepted that fact. Indeed, he believed that most people never forget their first love but he also believed in the fact that new-found love between two person who were right for each other could overwrite any past love. And that was the kind of love Peyton and him shared, he was sure of that.

Julian was dragged out of his reverie by Peyton's incoherent mumbling. He smiled to himself. He loved that Peyton talked in her sleep and liked teasing her about it. The old woman sitting next to them looked over and smiled at Julian once she realised that Peyton was not talking to her but was just merely sleeping. Julian returned the smile. They were on the plane to Tree Hill and Peyton had fallen asleep, her head on his shoulder. He pulled the cover over her shoulder and kissed the top of her head before going back to his thinking.

He was glad that she could finally get some sleep, he knew that she hadn't been sleeping well since two days. At first when she had told him about the invitation and Brooke's idea of the beach house, she had seemed okay about going back but as the days passed and it came closer to friday, he could feel her getting more and more nervous. So much that the day their plane tickets, sent by Brooke, had arrived by post she'd told him that she didn't want to go anymore, until she reminded herself that she couldn't let Brooke down.

Despite himself, he felt slightly worried by her nervosity, knowing that it must have something to do with seeing Lucas again. Julian knew that they had broken up on bad terms though he didn't know the reason. Peyton had tried telling him once but then she had gotten into a state and said that she was sorry and that she just couldn't tell him. Julian had been concerned about her, knowing that it must have been something big but he told her that he understood and that he didn't have to know for now. But it had been one year since that day and she still hadn't told him anything. She looked as happy as he was with her so he'd decided to let it go. But now, on the plane, flying back to her ex-boyfriend's town, he wondered if there was something that he should know, if he should feel threatened by this visit to Tree Hill or not.

"How long have I been asleep for?"

Julian turned to her "not that long" "but you did kind of embarrass yourself a little"

"What do you mean?" she said confused

"You talked in your sleep, and really loud! You said you were the hottest girl on the plane..talk about being big-headed!"

"Shut up! You're lying!" Peyton laughed

"She did say that didn't she?" Julian asked the old woman next to them, winking behind Peyton's back, while she had turned around to face her.

The woman grinned, amused by the young couple "I'm afraid you did, darling"

Peyton's eyes widened "Oh my god!" she said putting her face in her hands

The lady then chuckled and said "Don't worry you didn't, we're only messing with you, love"

"Oh thank god!" she smiled back and then turned to Julian to hit his arm playfully "you're a very mean man, you know that?"

"And you're the hottest girl on this plane." "Don't worry" he added quickly before she could hit him again "My words, not yours"

Peyton smiled and realised that Julian had managed to make her laugh and forget the butterflies she'd been having in her stomach for hours now. She took his hand in hers and put her head back on his shoulder. She felt serene. But then the co-pilot made an announcement:

_"Ladies and gentleman, we will shortly be landing in Tree Hill airport, please make sure that your..."_

She didn't hear the rest of the announcement. All she knew now was that the butterflies were back.


	4. And then we meet again

**A/N : **Hope you'll like this chapter, let me know what you think! Thank you to the readers and to the reviewers!

* * *

**Chapter 4 : And then we meet again.**

« I can't believe I actually thought that living with three hot girls was going to be great! » Julian shouted from the living room, clearly bored.

« Oh come on, you love it! » Brooke shouted back from her room where the three girls had been getting ready for hours. « But don't worry we're nearly done! »

They had all arrived in Tree Hill that same morning, had spent the afternoon catching up and were now preparing for the party at the Rivercourt. They hadn't gone to visit anybody, wanting to wait until the party. No one actually knew who was coming or not so Brooke wanted to keep it a surprise.

« So what's the deal with you and Lucas then? » Rachel asked while Brooke was doing Peyton's hair.

« Rachel! » Brooke reprimanded « can I talk to you for a moment? » she added with big eyes

« No, it's okay, I get it : no talking about Lucas and no asking what happened, right? » the redhead asked Peyton who nodded faintly. « Okay, but you do know the truth will come out anyway right? It always does, trust me » she added, her usual honest self.

Peyton looked up at Rachel, her words hitting her hard. What if she was right? She felt sick, just to think of it.

Seeing her reaction, Rachel realised that their break-up must have been something really bigger than what she'd thought « Look Peyton I'm sorry, let's just go to this party and have fun ok? » she smiled apologetically

Peyton smiled weakly back and nodded, scared to open her mouth in case she broke down « and besides, Brooke and I have your back, no matter what! » she said turning to Brooke.

« Of course! » Brooke reassured « now get your skinny ass up and let's go show Julian how hot we really are » she joked trying to lighten up the mood.

All three of them laughed and Peyton added in the most joyful tone she could : « Yeah come on, let's get this over with »

* * *

As they were walking together towards the Rivercourt, they could see and hear people laughing and talking loudly. They also noticed how it had been decorated : there were lights everywhere, a long table with drinks and food on it, a stereo with music resonating from afar and a little tent in the corner in case it rained. Peyton was confused though, she'd thought it was only going to be the twelve of them but she could see at least thirty people or more. Before she could ask Brooke or Rachel, they heard a high-pitched scream and saw Haley running to them.

« Oh my God you came! » she hugged Brooke, then winking and smiling at the same time, she hit Rachel on the back of her head and said « Hey husband stealer! » she then took Peyton by her shoulders and scrutinised her face. It only took one look into Haley's eyes for Peyton to know that she _knew_. Of course she knew, she was Lucas' best friend. He had told her just like she had told Brooke. Peyton looked down avoiding her gaze but Haley just hugged her and said « It's so good to see you Peyton! » Then, letting go she turned to Julian, obviously curious to know who he was.

« Hum, Hales, this is Julian. My boyfriend »

«Oh, hi! » she said slightly taken aback but shaking his hand anyway.

There was an awkward silence which Brooke quickly broke:

« Haley, who are all these people? I thought Lucas had only sent an invitation to the twelve of us » she said voicing Peyton's earlier thoughts.

« Oh yeah, some other people from high school heard about the party, so they kind of crashed and I think took some friends along. You know, friends of friends kind of thing. But it's all good, the more the merrier right? Even Glenda's here! I swear you won't recognise her! Oh and Tim! Anyway, Nathan is somewhere out there, so is Skills and..hum..I think Chase and Shelly but the rest haven't arrived yet. Lucas went to fetch some stuff, he'll be back soon and now I've got to go fetch some food so I'll be back in a minute too. And Jamie's with the sitter so you should come round and see him tomorrow. Anyway I'm late, got so much things to do! You girls know I never used to be the party girl, I am so not used to all this stress » she blabbed barely stopping to take her breath. Julian, Rachel, Brooke and Peyton all laughed

« Breathe Hales, breathe! Do you need any help? »

« No don't worry I'm fine, you all just go have some fun, I'll see you in a bit ! » she said already jogging away and waving behind her back.

They then tried to find some friends in the crowd. Brooke saw Chase and Shelly so they went over to say hi and talked for a bit but Peyton wanted to see Nathan so she said she would catch up with them later. Julian told her that he was going to get a drink and have some food. Peyton knew that he was trying to give her some space so she could catch up properly with all her friends and she appreciated it. She started looking for Nathan Scott, bumping into Fergie and Junk in the process. She quickly said hi and continued her search.

« Hey skinny girl get your ass over here! » recognizing that voice, she turned, smiling

« Skills! » she went to him and hugged him

« You have got to start eating more » he joked « how you been? »

She was just about to answer when she heard a voice she knew well too much:

« Well, well if it isn't Miss Sawyer! »

« Nate! » she went to hug him, so happy to see him again. Though their relationship as a couple hadn't been that great, they had become very close friends and she felt that they'd both evolved in the same way. He really meant a lot to her.

« I was just looking for you! » she said

« I see, you still haven't moved on from me Sawyer! »

« Get over yourself » she laughed

« Ok, so now Nathan comes along and I'm all forgotten » Skills teased

« I'm telling you Skills, she just can't get enough of me! It's a pity I'm not into blond cheerleaders anymore » he joked

« Shut up! you loooooove me »

« Talking about love, seen Lucas yet ? » Skills asked and Peyton's smile faded

« No. And you'll be happy to know that I came here with my boyfriend »

« Ha! What boyfriend! Trust me, ain't no boyfriend who can survive the love between Lucas and Peyton! I am so rooting for you both. Even with your mysterious break-up thing. Lucas said that it was because things weren't working out between the two of you but I know there's more to it »

Peyton didn't know what to answer so she just looked away. She felt relieved though that Lucas hadn't told anyone else, but she could feel Nathan's eyes on her and wondered if Haley had told him. She avoided both their gaze and trying to joke she said « Hey, I'm gonna go find my BOYFRIEND now, so I'll catch up with you guys later! » and with that, she quickly walked away before Skills could fire her with more questions. She still heard him shout after her « You ain't getting away with this so easily! »

* * *

Lucas had just gotten out of his car carrying two heavy cases of drinks superposed one upon the other and trying not to let anything fall. While he was approaching the table where the drinks were supposed to go along with the others, he saw a man standing awkwardly alone near the table, pouring himself a drink. Lucas didn't recall ever seeing him in High School, he figured he must be one of the friends of friends who had crashed the party. The man must have been feeling watched because he looked up and seeing Lucas and the cases in his hands, he asked :

« Need some help? »

« Yeah sure, thanks man »

The stranger took one of the case of drinks from Lucas and put it on the table. Lucas went on the other side of it so they were face to face and they both started taking the drinks out of the cases and laying them on the table.

« So were you in Tree Hill High School? » Lucas asked

« No, I'm not actually from here. I came with my girlfriend, but I don't know many of her friends so that's why you saw me drinking alone here like a total loser » he laughed and Lucas joined him

« If it's any consolation, I don't know half the people here either and I'm throwing this damn party! » Lucas joked, deciding that he liked this guy. But the stranger's face dropped slightly and he said :

« Oh. You're Lucas. »

Lucas raised his eyebrows slightly surprised that the guy knew who he was « Hum, yeah how do you know? »

« I'm Julian, my girlfriend's name is - » he stopped. Something behind Lucas' back had taken his attention and he smiled.

Lucas turned around to see what had caught his eye. His breath caught in his throat.

« Peyton » he choked, finishing Julian's sentence.

She hadn't noticed him and was coming over to Julian, smiling widely at her boyfriend, her emerald dress embracing her perfect body and showing the legs on which he'd fantasized about so much in High School. If he thought he liked the guy before, now he clearly hated him. He couldn't bear the thought of her being with another man. He had tried being with someone else after their separation but no one ever compared to Peyton. It hurt him to look at her but he just couldn't look away.

And then it happened. Her eyes flew over to him and suddenly realising, _finally_ noticing him there, she stopped in her tracks, clearly rattled and just stood there looking back at him.


	5. Teen again

**A/N : **First of all, thank you so much for the reviews, they really mean a lot! Second of all, sorry I took so much time to update, I've been struggling with this chapter and I'm still not totally happy with it so here's hoping it won't be a let down.

* * *

**Chapter 5 : Teen again**

Part of her wanted to turn around and run, the other part wanted to run towards him and hug him. But either way, she couldn't move. As they stared at each other, memories of what had happened that night overwhelmed her. A lump formed in her throat and she could feel tears burning her eyes, threatening to fall, when suddenly she was startled by Brooke who'd seen the scene and wanted to come to the rescue. She simply took Peyton's hand and said

« Let's go say hi okay? »

« What if he hates me? »

« He doesn't Peyton, let's go »

« He said it was my fault »

« You said it was his fault too, Peyt » she said softly and her best friend nodded

« But I didn't mean it »

« I know. And that's how I know he didn't either. You both said things you didn't mean that night.»

Peyton nodded again, blinking back her tears.

« Come on » she pulled her slightly and she followed « we're just going to say hello. Besides, I think Julian's worried »

Peyton knew it was true and the last thing she wanted was to hurt him but she couldn't help it : seeing Lucas again brought back so many memories, so many feelings.

Julian had now moved forward so that he was next to Lucas who'd forced himself to tear his eyes off Peyton. Brooke took things into her own hands and tried to make everyone feel at ease :

« Lucas Scott! I missed you! » she chirped, hugging him

Lucas smiled, hugging her back « I missed you too Brooke Davis »

« And I see you too have already met » she added looking over at Julian who nodded.

Peyton was avoiding making eye contact with Lucas, scared of what she might see in his eyes. Seeing that neither Lucas nor Peyton were looking at each other, Brooke joked :

« And you do know Peyton Sawyer right? »

Lucas didn't laugh or smile, he looked directly at Peyton and simply said : « 'course I know her »

With that, Peyton finally met his eyes and what she saw in them wasn't hate or blame like she'd feared she'd see, but only a mixture of sadness, regret and especially tenderness.

She wanted him to hug her but he didn't. He wanted to hug her but he couldn't.

« Hi » she finally said and he smiled faintly back.

Brooke started to fire Lucas with questions about his life when the heard Haley call :

« Luke! Can you help me with the food please? » she said pointing at her car where she'd put the snacks. Lucas ran over to help her and Brooke followed, knowing Julian and Peyton needed some time alone. Peyton pulled Julian away from where they were standing so that they wouldn't still be here when her three friends came back.

« You okay? » Peyton ventured

« Yeah. It's just - »

« What? »

« The way he looked at you. Hell, the way _you_ looked at him »

« Julian, come on. It was just hard seeing each other again after the way we left things, that's all. »

« But that's just it Peyton. I don't even _know_ how you too left things » he said his voice rising a little.

« I know, and I'm sorry but it's just not something I can talk about like that okay? I thought you understood! » Her voice had risen too

« I do! Or at least I did, but I gave you time Peyton. Don't you think it's about time you told me ? Am I ever going to find out ? »

Peyton calmed herself down, knowing that he was right

« I know Julian and I'll tell you, I will, but when I'm ready okay? Please just let it go for now. »

Julian sighed : « Okay, but I just wish I knew what happened, then maybe I would stop worrying about us. »

« Julian, you have nothing to worry about » she said more trying to convince herself than her boyfriend, « we'll be back in L.A in no time and everything will be back to normal. »

« I hope so. I really do »

« It will, I'm sure of it » she said, and they kissed.

* * *

« You should have seen him Hales, drooling like a teenage boy in front of Peyton » Brooke teased Lucas while they were putting the food on the table.

« Well some things never change do they?» Haley teased too

Lucas shook his head and rolled his eyes, it was pointless denying it, Haley and Brooke would just tease him more. Both girls suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. One of them must have said another joke on Lucas's teenage behaviour but whatever it was, he didn't hear : he'd just seen Julian and Peyton kissing a few inches away from where they were.  
Oh how he wished he could punch that guy.

* * *

The party went on, everybody catching up on what they had missed in their friends' lives. Peyton had just left Julian who was talking with Chase. The both of them were getting along really well so she decided that she could leave them together for a moment and have a walk around. She was genuinely happy to see her friends again but seeing Lucas and dealing with Julian had been hard and she was feeling tired. She saw Nate and decided to go over. As she approached, she realized that he was talking with Lucas so she meant to turn away but Nathan saw her and called her over.

« Hey » she said to both of them

« Luke and I were just hatching up a plan » Nathan told her

« A plan for what? » She asked intrigued

« You'll see! » He then turned to Lucas : « I'll go get started with the plan. Join me when you've finished here » he smirked at both of them and left, leaving them both in an awkward silence.

« Hum, so how long are you staying in Tree Hill? » Lucas then asked.

« One week » she said and couldn't help but notice the disappointed look on his face.

There was another awkward silence and then, Lucas blurted out :

« Do you ever think about it? »

She sighed knowing what he was referring to

« Everyday » she admitted

« Me too. » He smiled sadly and was about to add something when Peyton stopped him, knowing that if he said anything else she would just end up breaking down.

« I'm sorry, I can't do this. »

« Peyton, we've got to talk about this eventually. I wanted to avoid it too, but seeing you here tonight made me realize that I've got so many things to say, so many words to take back.»

She looked away and didn't answer so he came closer, put his hands on her shoulders, until she finally looked at him and said : « I'm not letting you leave Tree Hill until we talk about this okay? »

Aware of how close he was, of his touch on her bare shoulders and his eyes searching hers, she swallowed hard and nodded.

Satisfied, he let go of her : « I've got to go find Nathan now...but I'll be seeing you » he smiled and walked away.

Peyton, startled, took a minute to compose herself and then went back to Chase and Julian. She found that her friends were all there except for Shelly and Mouth and of course Nathan and Lucas. It was still early but she could see that people were beginning to leave.

« Why is everybody leaving? Is the party over already? » she asked Haley

« No don't worry, Lucas and Nathan are just going around telling people that it's over, so that we can have some fun between the true guests of this party! »

« So _that's_ what their plan was! » Peyton realized as Brooke said « I hate to say this but these guys are geniuses! »

* * *

A few minutes later, everybody was gone and Nathan and Lucas, joined by Mouth and Shelly came back to the group.

« That's it, we chased them all away! » Nathan said proudly

« Nice job! Now boys, time for some basketball ! » Junk said throwing a ball at Nathan.

« Are you actually pushing us girls away ? » Brooke feigned outrage

« You girls can just go gossip and admire how fit we are » Skills joked

The girls laughed and went to sit on the bench followed by Mouth, Chase and Julian.

« Aren't you guys playing? » Shelly asked them, to which they answered that they'd much rather watch.

The girls did indeed gossip a little and watch the guys play while Chase, Julian and Mouth talked about sports. Peyton was glad Julian seemed to be enjoying himself since she felt bad for what had happened earlier. Her hand was on his thigh and his hand on hers. However, Peyton couldn't help but watch Lucas' body as he jogged around the court, or his little smirk as he teased Nathan with the ball, nor his happy face when he scored.

« Come on girls, now it's our time to have some fun! » Bevin suddenly said, smiling mysteriously and adding to Mouth « Follow me » which he did puzzled. She led him to where the Stereo was and said something to him which made him grin and nod. The rest of the girls just looked at each other, bewildered, until Bevin came back and said « let's get these guys off the court first! » Intrigued, the girls started getting up when music came blasting out from the stereo and, smiling, they all recognized the song : it was 'Wannabe' from the Spice Girls. The boys stopped playing and looked over, amused, waiting to see what they were going to do.

« Tonight's about remembering High School right? » Bevin smiled, dancing her way to the court and shooing the guys away. They went to sit on the bench where Chase was filling Julian on the history of that song.

« She's right! Let's go! » Brooke said following Bevin. They both started doing the same choreography they had done that night in High School and the boys started cheering them on :

« Come on girls we want a show! »

« Yeah a proper one ! »

« Oh what the hell! » Haley then said putting her hands up in the air in surrender and joining them, closely followed by Shelly.

« You go Hales! » Nathan shouted

Rachel looked at Peyton and winked « Something's missing don't you think? » and with that, she grabbed her arm and dragged her along.

The girls couldn't quite remember the steps so after a while trying, they started goofing around, doing the robot dance, hugging each other and singing the lyrics loudly.

The guys cheered and laughed with them. It seemed for a moment that they were all back in High School, all their friendships still intact, as if time and distance hadn't damaged any of it.

When the song finished, all girls linked arms and bowed down under the applause of the boys. Lucas caught Peyton's eye and smiled at her. She smiled back and his heart skipped a beat. Yes, it really did feel like old times again.

The girls then came back to the boys all out of breath.

« Okay boys, time to show us what you got now! » Brooke challenged them

« I am _not_ dancing! » Fergie said

« Chicken! »

« Oh wait, I know! » Rachel exclaimed « Peyton, what was the name of that song on which Nathan, Mouth and Skills did that striptease back in High School? »

« Ohhh » Peyton said liking Rachel's thoughts « It was 'It's tricky' by Run DMC »

« Great, do you have that disc Mouth? » she asked

« Unlucky for us boys, I do »

« Thanks a lot Mouth! » Nathan moaned

« Sorry but I love this song and I kind of like dancing to it in the bathroom » he admitted, making them all laugh

« Okay, Nathan, Skills, Mouth get over there! We want a remake! » Bevin bossed around.

« You want a show, you'll get one » Nathan said with his goofy smile

Once on the court, Mouth gave Peyton the thumbs up so she pressed 'play' and then jogged back to the bench where everybody was already cheering and laughing. She joined in, feeling like a teenager again.


	6. When dinner turns sour

**Chapter 6 : When dinner turns sour**

« I can't wait to see Jamie ! » Brooke said excitedly as they waited for the door to open.

Rachel, Brooke, Peyton and Julian had been invited at the couple's place for dinner. Nathan hadn't exactly wanted Haley to invite Julian, but he knew they had to, he was Peyton's boyfriend after all. Although he did agree that Julian was nice, he wasn't ready to befriend the guy as, he too, was still rooting for his brother to be with Peyton. And that was exactly why he'd also invited Lucas for dinner.

The door opened and Haley appeared all smiles. She invited them in and informed them that Jamie was playing upstairs with his Uncle Lucas and Nathan.

« Jamie! » she called, « our guests have arrived ».

They heard loud footsteps running down the stairs, and then a little blond boy appeared, followed by the two brothers who said hello to everyone by hugging the girls and shaking hands with Julian. When Lucas hugged Peyton, he whispered in her ears

« Tomorrow, River-court, 4pm for our talk, whether you come or not, I'll be waiting for you »

She broke free of the hug and opened her mouth to protest but he'd already moved away to hug Brooke. She sighed. She didn't know if she wanted to have that talk or not and she wasn't sure she would go. Haley interrupted Peyton's thoughts by introducing them to her little boy :

« This is your Aunt Brooke, your Aunt Rachel, your Aunt Peyton and you're -hum- uncle Julian » She didn't quite know how he had to be called and she saw Lucas raising his eyebrows, clearly not pleased about that.

They all greeted him and went in the living-room to chat with him

« My god Jamie, I can't believe how much you've grown! » Brooke said

« I know, Daddy says I'm going to be as tall as Michael Jordan soon! » he said proudly and they all smiled. They all talked with him for a long moment enquiring about school and his rabbit. Then Haley told him to go play in his room because the grown-ups were now going to have dinner together.

« It was nice meeting you all! » he said sweetly before running back up to play.

« Jeez, Haley » Rachel maliciously said « Are you sure he's not Lucas' ? He looks more and more like him. »

« Ewww, that's gross! »

« Yeah, about that, I think I want a paternity test. He could even be Chris Keller's » Nathan teased

« If it was the other way round and guys were the one carrying babies then I think I'd be the one needing a -hum- maternity test. I mean you have a history of being a boy slut. For all I know it could be Peyton's or even Brooke's » she sneered and the girls gave her a high-five, laughing.

Nathan and Lucas laughed too

« That's not fair! » Nate said pretending to be hurt

« She so owned you, man » Lucas mocked him, amused at how Haley had put him in his place

« Shut up dude! » Nathan said elbowing him but laughing at the same time.

* * *

They were half way through dinner when Rachel suddenly said : « I think we should have some champagne to celebrate! »

« Celebrate what? » Lucas asked a bit confused

« Well, let's see. » She then started pointing her finger one by one at each one of the friends sitting around the table « Haley and I used to hate each other. Brooke and I used to hate each other. Peyton and I, well we never actually hated each other but I did get her drunk to get back at Brooke. And Julian, I never hated you. »

« That's good to know, I guess » he smiled

She then continued her round of table pointing next at Nathan « I wanted to steal Nathan from Haley but he wanted nothing to do with me. And Lucas, I wanted to steal you from Brooke but you wanted nothing to do with me either. By the way, you're loss » she winked and then added pointing finally at herself « Plus you used me to make Brooke jealous. So I don't know about you all, but I want to celebrate the fact that you're still friends with me after all that drama! »

They all looked at each other smiling, realizing how much this was true

« Wow! I see Tree Hill's got some drama » Julian pointed out

Rachel laughed and agreed : « And that's just the 'me' part. Then there's also the best friend-cheating-with-the-best friend's-boyfriend part or the brother-using-the-other-brother's-best friend-to-piss-him-off part. » she smiled « Yeah, Tree Hill sure is a complicated town »

« Oo-kay » Haley awkwardly said « I guess we get your point »

« I'll get the glasses! » Lucas said hurrying off to the kitchen cupboard. Once everyone had their glass, he started pouring the champagne but when he reached Haley's glass she put her hand over it :

« Hum, actually, I can't drink » she said

« Oh Haley come on it's just a bit of champagne! » Brooke ordered

« No I mean, I _can't. _» she looked over at Nathan and he nodded « I'm pregnant! » she squealed

« Aww Haley! » There was a commotion, everyone got up to hug the happy couple and congratulate them.

When they all sat back down they started talking about baby names and about how Jamie was excited about having a baby brother or sister. Peyton who'd been overjoyed by her friends news was now, with this discussion, awfully quiet. Lucas kept glancing at her worried but she didn't notice : she was looking at her plate, trying to black out the memories: _the shouting, the pain, the fear, the distress, the helplessness_

« Peyton? »

She snapped out of her memory with a start and looked up at Haley, who'd just called her.

« Peyton, what's wrong? » Julian asked concerned but she just looked back down at her plate, silent. Lucas knew she was trying to fight back the tears and he wanted to get up and hug her but it was Haley who did and came to kneel next to her chair :

« Peyton, I'm sorry, it was insensible of me to keep going on like that, I should have realized »

« Realized what? » Julian asked but everybody looked away, except Rachel who looked just as confused as him. Then seeing their faces he realized :

« Oh so everybody here knows about the reason of your break up with Lucas except me? »

« I don't know anything, if that helps » Rachel said, trying to calm him down but it didn't, he just ignored her and stared at Peyton waiting for an explanation.

But she was still looking at her plate, not defending herself.

He got up. He was truly besides himself, he felt hurt and betrayed: « That's great Peyton! All this crap about you telling me you're not ready to talk about it, and I what do I do? I freaking believe you and give you time! Only to find out that you've told everybody but you're own boyfriend?! »

« Okay you need to back off » Lucas intervened, getting up too.

« No, _you_ need to back off » Julian shouted turning to him « It's none of your business okay? »

« It is my business when you talk to her like that! »

Julian shook his head, laughing in disbelief : « I can't believe I'm actually hearing this. Who do you think you are? » he said stepping close to Lucas.

Lucas was about to verbally insult him when they heard her shout:

« Stop it! » she'd gotten up her chair too « I killed my baby okay? »

Both man turned to her in shock. Tears were streaming down her face « I killed my baby, that's what happened » she choked.

All eyes were on her, all friends were shocked by this sudden outburst. Both man were now staring a her, she couldn't meet any of their gaze so she just turned around and left the house.

They all looked at each other. Lucas then made to follow her out the door but Julian put his arm in front of him, stopping him :

« Don't even think about it » he said, glowing at him.

Nathan knew that a fight was going to ensue if he didn't intervene so he got up and took Lucas by the arm, pulling him away

« Leave it okay? »

« She needs me » Lucas said trying to make his brother understand

« If she does, she'll come and find you herself » Nathan tried to reason him, knowing that Peyton might want to be alone right now. He was the same as her, he knew that.

Lucas turned around and saw that Julian had already gone. He sighed « That guy's a jerk. » And then more to himself than to Nathan he said « I can't believe she said that. »

* * *

Julian opened the door of the beach house. She was there on the sofa, under a cover and crying her eyes out. He slowly went to sit next to her.

« So what was that about? » he asked softly

She didn't look at him but said « You wanted to know what happened. Now you know »

« But it doesn't make any sense. What do you mean you killed your baby? Are you talking about abortion? »

She shook her head but didn't say anything more

« So then what, Peyton? »

She'd had enough : « Look you wanted to know, I told you. Now leave me alone »

She saw the hurt look on his face and softened : « I just don't want to talk about it. And just so you know, I didn't tell anyone apart from Brooke. Lucas told Haley who I guess told Nathan. But Brooke was the only one I told, so it's not about not trusting you »

« Then why won't you tell me ? »

« Maybe I don't want you to be disappointed in me »

« I think that's an excuse » he said getting up and going to the door « I think you don't want to let me in completely Peyton, because the only person you've ever fully let in was Lucas. And as much as I hate to say it, I think our relationship is just you, trying to hide away from what hurts you »

And with that, he left, not leaving time for Peyton to say anything back.


	7. Trip down memory lane

**Chapter 7 : Trip down memory lane**

Rachel and Brooke had helped Nathan and Haley clean up at their place while Lucas had left in frustration, surely to clear his head at the Rivercourt like he always did. Now, the two girls had just reached the beach house. They opened the door slowly and saw their friend lying on the sofa :

« Come on you sack of potatoes, move your feet! » Rachel said trying to cheer her up.

Peyton did as she was told and sat up. Brooke sat down on the other sofa looking upset. It was obvious she wanted to say something but decided against it and bit her tongue back.

« Where's Julian? » Rachel asked

« I don't know, he just left. »

Then Brooke who couldn't hold her tongue back any longer burst out :

« How could you say that Peyton? Nobody _killed _anybody! I can't believe I spent four months looking after you, seeing progress and helping you find the old Peyton again only to discover that 2 years later you're still blaming yourself ! »

« But it was my fault Brooke! And I've been living with this guilt ever since that day. I wish I could turn back time, If I hadn't been so stubborn then my baby would still be alive and I – » she broke down not able to finish her sentence. Rachel took her hand, still not entirely comprehending and Brooke came to sit on the arm-rest.

« Peyton, can you tell me what happened? I'm really getting worried now » Rachel said softly.

The Blondie sighed, she looked up at Brooke who nodded in encouragement so Peyton took a deep breath and started telling Rachel the truth...

« _What about Kate? _»

« _Are you kidding? I know you've had a long time fantasy on Kate Bosworth but we are not calling her Kate _»

_Lucas laughed : _« _Okay so what if it's a boy? _»

« _Seriously I'm sure it's a girl. I can feel it _»

« _Come on, you can't know that. What if we only think about girl names and then it turns out to be a boy? Then we wouldn't have thought about any boy names and we'll end up calling him Kate or Lucy or whatever. Our poor kid will be picked on for the rest of his life because of us _» _he joked_

_Peyton smiled : _« _No, I'm sure it's a girl _»

_She'd been pregnant for 5 months which meant they could find out the baby's sex but they wanted to keep it a surprise. They were sitting on Peyton's bed in LA, Lucas had flown over for the week-end to see her. They'd found out she was pregnant a few months ago and though Lucas wanted to be with her, she'd insisted that he went on his book tour while she finished her course in LA and that when the book tour was finished, she'd go back with him in Tree Hill. They hadn't told any of their friends about her pregnancy, wanting to surprise them once they came back._

« _So my book signing is nearly finish and I was thinking, when it ends I can come here and help you pack your stuff and then we could fly back to Tree Hill together _»

« _Yeah about that _» _Peyton started. _« _I was thinking _» _she twisted her fingers nervously _« _Maybe we could live here _»

« _In LA? Why? Tree Hill's home _»

« _I know, but when our baby gets old enough, I want to go back to work, I want to continue in the music industry. And LA is the best place for that _»

« _You can do that in Tree Hill! _»

« _I can't Lucas, I will never have an opportunity like this in Tree Hill. I'm not saying we'll never go back, we will someday, but I need to chase my dream too. _»

« _We can go back to Tree Hill, bring up our baby there and when you're ready to work again we can come back to LA _»

« _But Lucas, I fear if we go to Tree Hill then I won't have enough courage to go back to LA, you understand ? _»

_Lucas was annoyed now, he wanted them to live together in Tree Hill like he'd imagined them doing in his dreams : _« _You're being selfish Peyton! _»

_She frowned : _« _I'm being selfish? You're living your dream Lucas, your book is amazing and successful and I am so proud of you but I need this for me, I need to know that I can do it _»

« _Peyton, you've been here 2 years and all you do is give coffee to people. Your job sucks _» _he paused and then : _« _Maybe you've got to get used to the idea that it's just not going to happen. _»

_Peyton stared at him in disbelief. She burst out : _« _I can't believe you said that. You were the one who said I had to follow my dreams, you were the one who said I was destined for greatness! And now you're telling me I can't do it? That I'm not meant for this? _»

« _I'm not saying that! I'm saying that you're - _»

« _No, that's exactly what you're saying! _»

« _And what about the baby? Are you saying our baby is getting in the way of your dream? _»

« _How could you say that? How could you even think that! I love this baby__! _» _she shouted putting her hand on her belly_

« _Well that's a hell of a way of showing it _»

_Now Peyton was really mad : _« _You're an ass! _» _she said storming out of the flat and pushing the button of the elevator. _

_He followed her out and screamed : _« _You know what ? You can't force me to live here and you can't keep our baby away from me! _»

« _I wasn't forcing you Lucas! It was just a suggestion because I thought you of all people would understand _» «_Damn elevator! _» _she shouted banging the door with her fist. It was taking too long to come, she just wanted to get out of there, get some fresh air, so she went in the direction of the stairs but Lucas was hot on her heels._

« _Understand what Peyton ? That you'd rather live in LA, away from your friends ? _»

« _No! _» _she had reached the stairs now. She turned to look at him _« _You were suppose to understand that I needed to prove this to myself. Your art matters remember ? You touched my soul when you said that to me! And now you don't even believe in me, you don't even understand why I'd like to do this for myself! _» _She then turned around, tears were blinding her, and she started going down the stairs._

_But Lucas realised he had gone overboard : _« _Okay I'm sorry! I was being stupid, can we please talk about this calmly? _» _he caught her arm trying to prevent her from going away but still upset, she wrenched herself free. However, doing so, she lost her balance and tumbled down the stairs._

_Lucas looked down in horror : _« _Peyton! _» _he yelled, rushing down the stairs. He took her head in __his hands and analyzed her face. She must have knocked her head because she was bleeding but she was conscious _« _Oh my god, are you alright? _»

«_I'm fine_» _she said, trembling slightly from the shock. He helped her up but as soon as she stood up, she fell back down again clutching her stomach in pain. _

_Her eyes were round with fear : _« _Luke, something's wrong with the baby _»

_Panic rushed through him but he tried to stay calm for her sake : _« _I'll call 911, it's okay Peyt, it's going to be alright_»

_Except it wasn't. _

_As soon as she opened her eyes, lying in the hospital bead, she knew something was wrong. She instantly put her hand on her stomach and looked to her right. Lucas' head was in his hands, he hadn't notice that she'd awoken._

« _Luke _» _she said in a raspy voice. His head jerked out of his hands and he looked over at her, relieved. _

« _Hey _» _he said softly, kissing her forehead. His eyes were red. _

_Tears started streaming down her face : _« _We've lost the baby haven't we? _»

_Lucas felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to tell her that it was alright, that the baby was fine, that he'd saved her from this like he'd always promise to do but he couldn't and instead he just nodded._

_Peyton's hand covered her mouth and he stroked her hair, lost for words._

_The doctor came in and seeing Peyton's face he acknowledged that Lucas had already told her the news : _« _I'm very sorry Miss Sawyer, we did all we could _»

_Peyton just nodded in reply. He said a few other words but she didn't listen, she didn't want to hear. However, just as he was leaving the room, she felt the urge to ask what she already knew :_

« _Doctor? _» _he stopped and turned to her_

« _Can I ask - was it - _» _she paused swallowing back her tears. _« _It was a girl wasn't it? _»

_He nodded in confirmation, apologetically, before leaving the room. _

_Lucas took her hand in his but she turned her head the other way.  
_

« Peyton, I'm so sorry, I never knew » Rachel said while Brooke rubbed her best friend's back.

« I know, I'm sorry for not telling you. It was just too hard talking about it »

« It's okay, I understand. So then what happened with you and Lucas? »

Peyton took another deep breath before continuing « Well...»

_Peyton was sitting on the hospital bed, she'd just been discharged and was waiting for Lucas who was speaking with the doctor in the hall. The door was not closed properly, so she could hear everything:_

« _I'm worried doctor, she hasn't said a word since the news and she's not eating _»

« _Women who lose their baby sometimes experience severe depression, which means it will take some time for them to grieve and deal with their loss. I have to warn you, Mr Scott, that she will probably push you away at first because often, women think that nobody can understand their pain as they were the one carrying the baby _» _He looked at Lucas' disgruntled face _« _I know it's hard but you have to be patient with her okay? It will take time but it will all get better eventually _»

_**2 weeks later**_

_For the last two weeks, Peyton had been lying in bed, constantly holding her tummy as if she was expecting to feel a kick any time soon. She'd started speaking a little but only to answer Lucas' questions and never would she engage conversation. She was now eating a little too but only because Lucas kept insisting on it._

« _Peyton? _» _Lucas waited for her to turn to him or to answer but she just stared at the ceiling. Not giving up he continued _« _I think we should go out. We could go for a walk _»

_She didn't look at him but shook her head._

_He hadn't pushed her for two weeks, but now he was getting worried. He wanted her to cry, to scream, to smile, anything that would show that his beautiful Peyton was still in this empty body, somewhere. So he insisted, knowing he shouldn't, but desperate for some sort of reaction : _« _Come on, get dressed, some fresh air would do you some good _»

_Still not looking at him she coldly said _« _What would do me good is for my baby to still be alive _»

« _Peyton, you're not the only one who lost the baby you know? Don't you think it hurts me as much as it hurts you? _»

_She finally looked at him but her eyes were full of anger _« _You don't understand! I felt our little girl growing in me for 5 months, I've felt her kick, I've - You just can't understand. _»

« _It doesn't mean I didn't love this child as much as you did _» _Lucas said, hurt. He knew the doctor had warned him about being patient with her but he couldn't, he wanted to help her get through this. He needed for her to let him in._

_She lifted herself up and glared at him : _« _Yeah well maybe you should have thought about how much you loved this child before you - _»

« _Before I what ? _» _he asked but she looked away _« _You're saying this is my fault Peyton? _»

« _Yes! _» _she hesitated then : _«_No!_ _I don't know! _»

« _You actually think I killed our baby, don't you? _»

« _Well, you practically pushed me down those stairs! _» _as soon as the words came out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back. She was looking for someone to blame, because in reality she blamed herself and no one else._

_And to be honest, Lucas had also been blaming himself but hearing her say it, saying that he'd intentionally meant to push her down the stairs hurt him. He was so hurt, so angry, that the words just came out of his mouth without him being able to control what he was saying :_

« _What about you Peyton? If you're looking for someone to blame you should look closer to home! _»

« _What's that supposed to mean? _»

« _Maybe none of this would have happened if you hadn't been so selfish or if you'd stopped running away from everything! You couldn't stay in the room and speak with me? No! You had to run away, like you always do! _»

_Peyton was taken aback, she didn't want to hear anything else. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed and forget about everything._

« _Get out. _»

« _What? _»

« _Get out ! _» _she yelled throwing a pillow at him _« _I don't ever want to see you again and I mean it! _»

« _Fine! _» _he shouted back, clearly not thinking straight. He banged the door so loudly on the way __out that the frame on the wall fell to the floor and the glass broke._

_Peyton collapsed in tears and reached for the phone.  
_

« And that's when I called Brooke, she flew over immediately. I went into proper depression for 4 months and she looked after me, making sure that I ate and everything. She was great » she said looking up through her tears at her best friend whose eyes were also teary after hearing her story again.

« So that's why you think you killed your baby? » Rachel said finally understanding

The Blondie nodded « I blamed Lucas because I didn't want to admit that it was my fault, but he was right. If it hadn't been for me, then we would have never gotten into that fight »

« These things happen Peyton, it's nobody's fault. But I think you and Lucas should talk about it » Brooke said softly

She nodded faintly, resting her head on Brooke's lap. It was already 2 am. They'd talked for so long and it had been so emotional for Peyton to relive that day, that she fell asleep, drained out, and not wanting to think about what tomorrow might bring.


	8. Goodbye to you

**A/N : **I'm so sorry for not having updated sooner but thank you so much for your kind reviews, they really mean a lot...

* * *

**Chapter 8 : Goodbye to you**

The next morning, Peyton couldn't eat her breakfast. She kept looking at her mobile, worried about Julian. She'd not heard from him since the previous night and she wondered where he'd spent the night. She'd left a message on his voicemail though, telling him that she was ready to tell him what had happened. He deserved to know the truth and by hiding it from him, she'd been unfair to him.

As she was about to voice her concern to her two friends, the door opened and Julian came in, looking scruffy. He wasn't smiling. In fact, he wore a pretty serious expression. Rachel and Brooke looked at each other and then the brunette said, getting up and smiling supportively at her best friend:

« We'll be in the room if you need anything okay? »

Peyton nodded and they left. Julian had gone to sit on the sofa so she followed.

« Where were you? You look tired » she said cautiously

He shrugged : « I spent the night in my car. Didn't sleep at all »

« Too much thinking about how your girlfriend has been acting stupid lately? » she attempted, hoping to bring up the subject and apologize.

« No, actually I read all night »

Peyton's eyebrows rose : « You read? »

« Yeah, Lucas' book. »

Peyton's risen eyebrows turned into a frown : « Why? You never wanted to read it before! »

« I know, but that was a mistake. I should have read it a long time ago, then maybe saying what I'm about to say would have been easier »

« And what are you about to say? » she asked still frowning

« I..- I can't be with you anymore Peyton. »

« What? Julian, if this is about me not telling you what happened two years ago, then you don't need to worry! Didn't you listen to your voicemail? I'm ready to tell you! »

« It's not about that » he said looking away

« Then what's it about? »

« It's about this damn book! The way he wrote your love story, the way he described every detail of how he felt about you and - »

« That was such a long time ago! » she cut off

« Maybe so, but you can't tell me that seeing him again, being here in Tree Hill, doesn't bring back feelings or memories of the two of you? »

« Okay I admit it is weird and a little confusing, but I'm not lying when I say that I love you! »

He sighed « I know you do, but it's different kind of love. You'll never love me as much as you loved him. And I don't want to be second best »

Peyton felt powerless. She was reminded of a conversation she'd had with Jake back in High School. She'd loved him and had wanted to marry him but he'd told her to go back to Tree Hill and look into her heart to find if she still loved Lucas. And now it was happening again. It was as if everybody, but her, realized that Lucas and Peyton had this connection that nobody could ever break.

« I'm going back to LA in a few hours. I'll pack my stuff so that when you're back in LA my things won't be in the apartment anymore. »

He kissed her forehead and whispered « Goodbye Peyton », then he got up and as he had done the night before, went towards the door.

She wanted to stop him but she was lost for words, she opened her mouth and closed it, then opened it and closed it again feeling like no matter what she said, he was still going to walk out that door.

And that's exactly what he did.

* * *

It was 4pm and Peyton was lying on her bed, listening to music. There was a knock on the door and Brooke entered.

« It's 4 o'clock sweety. Lucas must be waiting at the Rivercourt »

« I don't want to go anymore » she said « I should never have come back to Tree Hill »

« You know as well as I do that Tree Hill or not, your relationship with Julian would never have lasted. Whether you're ready to admit or not, you're still in love with Lucas and that's just the way it's supposed to be »

Peyton put both her hands on her forehead and let out a groan

« God I wish things weren't so freaking complicated! »

« Well, un-complicate them and go talk to Luke! Just go and see how it goes! It will help, I promise! And remember this beach house was my great idea so I'm allowed to throw you out of this house if you do not move your ass! »

Peyton smiled : « Thanks Brooke. »

* * *

Lucas looked at his watch. He had been there for 45 minutes already, still hoping she'd come, needing her to come. He was playing basketball in the meantime, waiting for her.

« Katie » said a familiar voice behind him.

He turned around and smiled when he saw her

« Actually my name's Lucas » he joked

She shook her head : « Our little girl. I didn't want to call her Kate, but Katie would have been nice »

Lucas' smile faded

« Peyt - »

« She would have been beautiful, I know it. She would have had your eyes and your nose. And I'm hoping maybe my curly hair and we would have loved her so much together »

« Peyton, don't. » He couldn't listen to all of this, it was too hard.

But she continued : « She would have been two years old by now. Brooke would have spoiled her to bits and I know she would have loved spending time with her Uncle Nathan and her Aunt Haley and playing with her cousin Jamie »

She stopped and they both looked at each other in silence. Then, looking into his eyes she told him the one thing that she had wanted to tell him for all these years :

« I never blamed you Lucas. I only said those things because I blamed myself »

Lucas hold her face in his hands : « What you said yesterday night, at dinner, don't you ever say that again okay? You never killed our baby. And what I said to you that night, I never meant it either, you have to believe me. It was because I blamed myself too. But we can't keep doing this Peyton : looking for someone to blame. It's not helping »

« I wanted to call you » she choked. « I wanted to call to tell you that I never meant what I said but I was scared. » Tears started strolling down her cheeks « I was scared you hated me »

« Peyton, I would never hate you » he said wiping her tears. « I tried calling you. Two weeks after our separation, I wanted so badly to take back the words that I'd said. And I wanted us to be us again, so I tried calling you on your mobile but it was always switched off. Then I tried at your home but nobody ever picked up so I figured you just didn't want to speak to me »

She took a few steps back, as the realisation hit her : he had tried to get in touch with her, he had tried to apologize, to make things right.

« What's wrong? » he asked

« I never knew you'd tried calling. After you left that night, I went into depression for four months »

« Oh god Peyton, I wish I'd known »

« That's why I never knew you called. I'd switched off my mobile and as I spent my days in bed, I never answered the house phone and I'd told Brooke not to do so either because I was in a dark place and didn't want to speak with anyone. I'm so sorry! If I'd just picked up the phone then maybe - »

The tears choked her and she couldn't speak anymore. He took her in his arms and let her cry in his chest as much as she needed to.

He whispered stroking her hair « It's okay. We've got to let go now. Of the pain, the guilt, the blame, let go of everything. It's going to be alright »

* * *

« No way! You're kidding! » she giggled

« No no I swear it happened » he said through laughter « Skills really went out with Deb for a while! You should have seen Nathan's face when he found out! »

Peyton and Lucas were now sitting on the bench, still at the Rivercourt. They'd been speaking for hours now, catching up on what had happened in their lives. They were having a laugh and she felt much better. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her chest. Having spoken with Lucas, knowing that he had tried calling and that he'd never really blamed her had helped her.

« Well, I should get back » she said getting up

« Okay, I'll see you around yeah? » he said following her

« Yeah sure »

« Wait, can I ask what happened with Julian last night? Did you tell him about our baby? »

« No. He broke up with me before I could even tell him »

Lucas couldn't help but smile

« You're smiling? Really? » she said eyebrows raised

« Sorry » he said still smiling anyway « But I'm smiling because that means I can do that »

And he pulled her into a kiss. At first she pulled away, startled but then as they searched each others eyes she couldn't resist and kissed him back. It felt like old times, it felt right, and as contradictory as it seems, it was for those reasons that she pulled away again.

« I can't do this » she said

« Julian? »

« No. It's not about him »

« Then what? » he asked softly

« We were supposed to have true love always Luke. I always believed that. But our love couldn't even make it through what happened. So then what happens if life throws something else at us? We lose each other again? I didn't only have to face the fact that I'd lost our baby but also the fact that I'd lost you, the one person I thought would always be there. And it hurt Luke. I can't risk that again. »

« It will be different this time. We've learned from our mistakes haven't we? And besides, I'll wait until you're ready, we've got time. »

She shook her head : « Julian splitting up with me doesn't change anything, I'm still leaving Tree Hill on Friday night »

Lucas' face fell but he said with conviction :

« Peyton, I believe that what we have and who we are supposed to be together is not dead. And I'm going to prove that to you. »

Peyton just smiled sadly and said « Bye Luke » before walking away.

Lucas watched her go, thinking that losing her once had been the biggest mistake of his life. He was not willing to make that mistake again. He was going to fight for her. He knew that she was just scared of being hurt again and that was why she didn't believe in them anymore.

But he now had five days to prove her wrong.


	9. Beach time !

**A/N : **You must be bored of me saying the same thing over and over again but I still want to say thank you for your reviews and for reading this story ! :)

* * *

**Chapter 9 : Beach time !**

Brooke heard a knock on the door and went to open. She was surprised to find Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Jamie standing there all smiles. She didn't even have time to open her mouth as Jamie shouted excitedly:

« Get ready Aunt Brooke, we're going to the beach! »

« We are? » she asked looking at Haley

« Yeah we thought we all needed to spend the day together as you'll be leaving soon! »

« Okay, good idea but Rachel isn't here, she's with Mouth so it's just Peyton and me! » she said letting them all in, then she called out :

« Peyton! Get up we've got visitors! »

There was no answer.

« Come on! Wakey wakey Peyton! » she said banging on her bedroom door

« Let me sleeeep » she moaned but Brooke continued banging until there was an exasperated groan and a few seconds later the door opened and Peyton appeared, with dishevelled hair, small tired eyes and not looking happy at all.

« What? » she asked grumpily but then she saw the crowd standing there, all trying not to laugh at her personal appearance. Her gaze found Lucas whose eyes had wandered to her naked legs. Suddenly aware of the fact she was only wearing a large T-shirt and a mini short, she tried to pull the T-shirt down awkwardly.

« We are going to the beach so go get yourself ready and pretty, we don't want little Jamie here to think that you're a witch or something » she said running away before Peyton could hit her arm « we'll wait for you .»

« Yeah you look scary in the morning aunt Peyton » Jamie said with a cheeky smile.

The Blondie squinted her eyes at him : « Careful you, or I'll turn you into a toad! »

« You should turn Uncle Lucas into a toad so he can get a kiss from you! Mum says he hasn't stopped brooding over you! »

Nathan, Haley and Brooke laughed while Lucas tried to hide his embarrassment.

« Jamie, you really are your daddy's son » Nathan said giving him a hive five

« Oo-kay, time for me to go get ready! » Peyton said, smiling in spite of herself and closing back her bedroom door.

* * *

« Stop staring and close your mouth dude! »

« What? No! I wasn't even looking »

Nathan rolled his eyes at him « Yeah right. »

The brothers were sitting on the beach while the three girls were playing in the water with Jamie. Lucas couldn't keep his eyes off the Blondie which hadn't come unnoticed to Nathan.

« So she's still going back to LA on Friday then? »

« Yeah. I wish she would stay. »

« Did you tell her that? »

« Kind of. I told her it was going to be different this time, but she doesn't believe in what we have anymore.»

« Well telling her isn't enough, you've got to show her that it's going to be different »

« And how do I do that? »

Nathan shrugged « I don't know. »

« Man, you suck! »

Nathan smiled his goofy smile : « I know. Now let's go stir some trouble over there! »

They ran into the water, Nathan picking up Haley and throwing her in the water while Lucas did the same with Jamie.

« Aunt Brooke, Aunt Peyton, help! Help! » he screamed through laughter. Both girls started splashing water on Lucas until he had to let go of Jamie who went running to them. Haley broke free from Nathan too and the three girls, with the help of Jamie, started ganging up on the two boys.

All that could be heard from the passers-by were shrieks and laughter, but that was enough to make anyone smile.

* * *

« I swear I have no idea where this boy gets all his energy from! » Haley said sitting next to Brooke and Peyton in the sand. The boys had gone to buy some ice cream. « Are you both having fun? » she added.

« Yeah, this is nice, it seems like old times again. I'd missed that.»

« Yeah, me too » Brooke nodded

« Hey Hales, sorry for the other night at your place, all the drama and everything » Peyton said after a comfortable silence.

Haley laughed it off « It's okay don't worry! »

Peyton smiled and added « I really am glad you're pregnant »

« Good, cause Nathan's got something to tell you! »

Peyton raised her eyebrow at her but she smiled mysteriously « You'll see! » and then she changed the subject « I don't want you girls to go! »

Brooke smiled and said « Actually, I've decided I wanted to stay! »

« Really? » the two friends said at the same time

« Yeah, I've been thinking about it ever since we came back. I could open my own store here! I don't know, it just feels right! »

« That's great Brooke! » Peyton said and Haley happily agreed.

They saw that the boys were coming back so Haley took the opportunity to quickly tell the Blondie « You should stay too Peyton. And for what it's worth, he still loves you you know. He never stopped » Peyton wanted to say something but the boys were already here so she withheld.

« So what did we miss? » Lucas asked

« Brooke's decided to stay in Tree Hill! » Haley squealed. The boys were happy and they hugged her. Jamie was ecstatic too. Then Lucas looked at Peyton expectantly, waiting for her to say that she was staying too, but she didn't and he understood that she was still set on leaving Tree Hill.

Peyton felt the pressure of his gaze so she changed the subject by saying :

« Hey Nate can I borrow you for a moment? »

« Yeah sure! »

They went for a little stroll along the beach

« So Haley's been all mysterious saying that you had something to tell me? »

Nathan laughed « Oh so that's why you abducted me! »

« I didn't abduct you, don't be so dramatic » she chuckled « so come on what's the big secret? » then she stopped in her tracks and repressing a cheeky smile she said:

« Wait, you are the baby's father right? Cause I don't know, maybe Chris Keller came back in town while I wasn't around»

« Dude, shut up! » he said pushing her while she laughed at his outrage.

« If you must know, Haley and I, wanted you to be the baby's godmother. But after what you just said about Chris Keller, I'm thinking about changing my mind »

He smiled at her shocked face.

« Are you serious? »

« About you being the godmother part or the changing my mind part? »

« Both »

« We want you to be our baby's godmother and there's no way in hell I'm changing my mind »

She was touched and she hugged him « I'd love too! And I love you! Thanks Nathan, that really means a lot »

* * *

« Please please please! Just one last swim! » Jamie begged

The adults were getting ready to leave. They had all already dried in the sun so none of them really wanted to go back into the cold water and get wet again, but Peyton was still in her bikini so she said :

« Alright I'll come with you ». She took him by the hand but just before they could go Jamie said :

« Uncle Lucas, you've gotta come too! »

Lucas looked at Peyton « Hum I don't know » but Peyton smiled at him and said « It's okay » so he smiled back, removed his T-shirt and took Jamie's other hand before leading them into the water.

Once they were out of earshot, Nathan said smiling to the others : « Man, I've brought this kid up well, he's such a Leyton shipper! »

* * *

« Okay now swim to your Uncle Lucas! »

« Yay! » she added clapping her hands once he reached his Uncle's arms. He lifted him up and she came to join them.

Lucas smiled and said to him : « You swim like a true little fish! You'll be able to teach your little sister or brother how to swim soon! »

Jamie looked away

« What's wrong? » he asked « I thought you were excited about your mum having another baby? »

He shrugged « I was. »

« What changed your mind? » Lucas asked gently

He shrugged again.

« You can tell us, we won't tell anyone, promise! » Peyton said holding up her little finger

« Promise? » Jamie asked crossing his little finger with hers.

« Promise. » both her and Lucas said at the same time.

« Well » he hesitated « I'm scared everyone will like the baby more than me and that everyone will forget me »

« Okay let me ask you something » Peyton said « Do you love your mum more than your dad? »

He shook his head : « No, I love them both the same »

« Exactly! And your mum and dad love both of you equally with all their heart, I'm sure of that! »

« Plus, you know what? » Lucas said « When I was little, before your dad and I became friends, I felt lonely and always wished I had a sibling, so I'm sure you'll love having someone to play with »

Peyton then added « And as for the part of everybody forgetting you, that will never happen! And you know why? »

The little boy shook his head

« Because you're too cute and naughty to forget » she said ruffling his hair.

Jamie found his smile again : « Thanks Aunt Peyton! I'm sure you'll be an awesome mum one day »

She was touched by his words. She felt Lucas' hand take hers under the water and she looked up at him.

He smiled fondly at her and squeezing her hand he said : « Yeah, you would have been a amazing mum. »


	10. Surprise, surprise !

**A/N : **Love the feeling I get when I check my e-mails and see that someone's reviewed my story or has subscribed to an alert. So thank you for making my day !

* * *

**Chapter 10 : Surprise, surprise !**

« Sorry I can't!»

« Oh come on, I feel lonely! Brooke and Rachel weren't here when I woke up this morning and I have no idea where they are. I called Hales, apparently her and Nathan had something planned and the others are ignoring my calls! I'm starting to think everyone's avoiding me! »

Peyton was on the phone with Skills and was trying to convince him to go have lunch with her.

« You know I'd love to, but I'm in the middle of something here »

« What could possibly be so important that you'd have to turn down your favorite skinny girl who, by the way, happens to be leaving on Friday? »

« Yeah I know that, but I'm-er-I'm » there was a muffled sound and she heard indistinct talking in the background.

« Wait a minute! Is that Brooke's voice? And I swear I heard Nate's too! »

« What? Sorry can't hear you, I'm losing you » he said badly imitating the noise of a bad phone line.

« Skills, don't you dare hang up on me! »

« Shcrr-shcrr » he went before hanging up quickly

« Skills! » she shouted but it was too late. « What the hell is going on? » she then said aloud to herself.

She wondered what they were up to. She wanted to spend the days she had left in Tree Hill with her friends but they apparently had better things to do.

She sighed and went to lay on her bed. She thought about Julian and wondered what he was doing. She did miss him but she knew that he deserved better than being second best, even if she hadn't realized that that was in fact the case while she was with him.

She took her phone and scrolled down her contact list until she found Lucas' name. Her thumb hesitated on the call button. The day before had been great and when he'd took her hand, she'd let him and had let herself get caught in the moment.  
But if she called him now, it would mean being totally alone with him and letting her heart grow on hope. And she couldn't afford that as she was leaving soon. Her finger hesitated again for a few moments but then she finally decided against it and took her sketch book instead.

* * *

It was already evening and Peyton was now bored to death. Just when she was about to call Skills again, the door opened and Rachel came in.

« Finally ! Where have you been? » she exclaimed

« Nowhere special »

Peyton eyed her suspiciously « Where's Brooke? And why have you got paint on your T-shirt? »

« Okay Sherlock Holmes just go outside, Brooke's waiting for you in her car. She needs to drive you somewhere »

« What? Where? »

« Just go! » she said pushing her through the door and closing it back quickly before she could protest.

* * *

« Brooke! Please just give me a clue! » she asked again for the fifth time

« Well no need for that cause we just arrived! »

Peyton who was looking at Brooke, turned around to see where they were

« Tric? » she said slightly disappointed and confused

Brooke nodded

« Just go inside, Luke's waiting for you »

« Luke? Brooke I don't know if I'm going to like this surprise! »

« Peyton get your skinny ass out of my car right now and just go inside! » Brooke said, exasperated.

« Okay okay sorry! » she said putting her hands up in the air.

She got out of the car and walked to the entry, wondering what was in store for her. As soon as she pushed the door opened, music surrounded her. She scanned the room and found him, sitting at the bar.

She went to him, surprised at how nervous she felt : « Hi »

He turned around and smiled seeing her : « Hey Blondie! ».

She meant to sit but he shook his head : « No, come with me ».

He led the way to the stairs but before going up he told her to close her eyes.

« Okay, last step. There you go, now open your eyes »

As soon as her eyelids flew open her mouth opened in amazement. The room that had once been a dull, storing room back in High School was now totally redone and looked as good as new : the walls were red, there was a desk in the corner and there were record discs hanging on the wall. She also noticed a guitar, a small synthesizer and a drum set in the corner.

« Wow Luke, this looks great! Your mum's going to be so happy! »

« Oh this is not for my mum, it's your new office! »

« Office? » she said frowning

« You want to go back to LA for your music right? »

She nodded still frowning

« Well, we thought you should create your own record label here in Tree Hill! »

She opened her eyes in shock and laughed nervously at the idea : « That's crazy! And who's _we_? »

« Everybody. Brooke's financing everything for now, my mum's agreed to give you the place rent-free and Nate, Mouth, Skills, Rachel and basically all your friends were here today and last night to repaint the place and help put all the stuff in »

Seeing he was actually serious about this she said : « But Luke we're in Tree Hill! It's a small town, where am I ever going to find any artists that would agree to sign with me? »

« Well, you already have a band that's interested! »

« What? How? » she said in disbelief

« Haley did a bit of promotion for you all day, she went to see bands that are here in Tree Hill and she got one group that would be interested »

Peyton passed her hand through her hair

« Look don't get me wrong, I really appreciate this but you can't just ambush me like this! I can't say no to this and go back to LA without feeling guilty and I can't say yes without letting everybody down if this doesn't work out! »

« I know how this must seem like, but just try it okay? »

« Try it? »

« Yeah, look you've got two days until you fly back right? »

She nodded again

« Then try this for the two days to come, try working with the band and everything. Just see how it goes! And if it doesn't work out and you're not happy and absolutely hate it then fine, you go back to LA. »

« And what about this place? And Brooke's money? »

« Then we'll convert it into something else! Brooke always has crazy ideas! But I'm not even worried about that, cause I'm sure you'll be staying »

« Luke.. » she started

« No, listen when we had that fight in LA two years ago about your music, you said that I didn't believe in you, that I didn't understand your dreams. And I know that I was being a jerk that day but it wasn't about not believing in you at all. I want you to know that I have never doubted you, I have never stopped believing in you Peyton. Your art does matter. »

She searched his eyes and was touched by the sincerity she saw in them.

« I don't know what to say » she said her voice barely a whisper

« Then say yes »

She sighed: « I just need to know something before I take a decision : I need to know _why_. Why are you really doing this? »

« I don't want you to leave Peyton, I really don't. And I want you to believe that you have that greatness in you which means that no matter where you are in the world, you can do this, even in little Tree Hill. But this is not a scheme to somehow force you to stay, I would never push you into anything. As I said, it's your choice, I just want you to try this. And I'm hoping that if your music is the only reason that's stopping you from staying in Tree Hill, then you'll to stay if this works. »

She looked away at his last words. Noticing, he pulled her chin up and said softly :

« But of course, if it's not the only reason stopping you from staying, then I'll have to work on the other one. Because I'm not giving you up without a fight » He then took a few steps back and opening his arms to the room he said :

« So what do you say Miss Sawyer? »

She smiled and relenting she said : « I say bring it on Lucas Scott! »

He smiled and she smiled back before saying : « Oh god you're crazy Luke! » and then adding « Come here » as she went to hug him « Thank you for doing this for me, thank you »

* * *

« Brooke Penelope Davis! » she said as she opened the beach house door « Who do you think you are? »

Brooke looked at Rachel in fear, the Blondie looked pissed and was coming towards them.

« Peyton I'm sorry for going behind you're back, I didn't mean to ambush you but I believe in you and I thought you just needed a little push and I - »

Peyton was right in front of her now and Brooke thought she was going to punch her :

« No, I mean who do you think you are doing such an amazing thing for me? » she said not able to repress her smile anymore. Then she squealed and hugged her best friend : « Thank you , I love you! And I will pay you back »

Brooke breathed a sigh of relief before joining in Rachel's laughter.

« You're welcome, I'm just glad you weren't really pissed »

« Yeah, sorry about that, it was too tempting! You should have seen your face! » the Blondie teased letting go of her

She went to hug Rachel too : « Thank you Rach, for helping and everything! »

« You're welcome, so does that mean you're staying? »

« I don't know, we'll see »

« Yay! » Brooke said « That's definitely an improvement! »

« I wish you'd stay though » Peyton said to Rachel

« I know, but I've got to go back to New York ! Being a model for Clothes over Bros is a hard job and the boss is kind of a bitch » she said winking at Brooke « but we still have until Friday so let's not get all sad now »

The three girls smiled at each other.

* * *

Peyton was lying on her bed, she'd just finished calling every single one of her friends to thank them. Haley had told her all about the band that would be coming in the office the next day. The brunette had promised that she'd come to help her and Peyton was glad for that, as she was feeling nervous. They didn't have a proper studio for the time being and only had a few instruments. She knew that it would be hard to impress them and make them agree to sign on the label in those conditions.

But she felt lucky to have such amazing friends and was determined not to let them down.


	11. Disappointment

**A/N : **I'm back ! Sorry I've been gone so long! Here's the next chapter, don't hate me for the ending, I have a reason for it, trust me :)

* * *

**Chapter 11 : Disappointment**

« To Red Bedroom records! » Haley said raising her glass

« To Red Bedroom records! » The others echoed clinging their glasses together before drinking in the expensive champagne Brooke had bought for the occasion.

It was Thursday night, Haley and Peyton had spent the last two days in Tric with the band, listening to their songs, working with them and trying to convince them to sign with Peyton. It had been hard at first, especially when the band had seen the office which didn't look too professional for the time being. But Peyton had promised she was going to build a proper studio for them to record in and after seeing how much Haley and Peyton were passionate about music, they'd agreed to give it a try.

Nothing had been signed yet, the band and Peyton were supposed to meet on Friday for the signing of the contract and as everything was going well she'd decided to stay in Tree Hill.

« This is so great, all of us together again! » Brooke said

« Yeah, that's how it should be » Lucas said, looking over at Peyton

She smiled before looking away. The last two days had been busy days so Peyton hadn't seen much of her friends except for Haley. She went in the office early in the mornings and came home very late so she hadn't bumped into Rachel or Brooke.

She looked around at her friends, she was glad everything seemed to be working out. It felt like everything was going to be okay. Her eyes fell on Lucas, he was laughing at a joke Nathan had just made. She couldn't help but smile. Maybe it was time to let him in again. These last two days had reminded her of who she used to be, she felt like herself again. And she realized it was mostly because of how much Lucas and her friends had done for her.

* * *

Peyton woke up with a start. Her phone was ringing « oh come on! » she moaned, it was only 7:30. « Hello? » she said grumpily. She paused and suddenly was wide awake : « Are you sure? I thought everything was going good » she paused and frowned « Yeah sure I understand...okay bye »

She hung up and threw her phone with rage. There wasn't going to be a record deal. The band didn't want to sign with her anymore.

Everything she'd been feeling the day before just crumbled, she felt insecure again, like coming back to Tree Hill had been a mistake.

Not thinking straight she got up, took out her suitcase from under her bed and started throwing in her belongings. She was going back, there was no point in staying anymore after all. How could she have believed that everything could have worked out for her? After all she was Peyton Sawyer, everything always seemed to go wrong for her, she thought angrily. She started writing a note to Brooke explaining that she was leaving. She knew that she was being a coward leaving like that without saying goodbye but she wasn't thinking straight. She added on the note that she was going to pay her and Lucas all the money back once she would be back in LA and back at her job. She felt like she had disappointed all of her friends and she just couldn't bear this thought.

The cab arrived. She looked around the house, regretting her decision already. But she tried reminding herself that she was doing what was best for everyone. After all, they had all given their time to help her and she had blown it. She knew that the Peyton from High School was a lot stronger than that, but she felt lost and insecure. Ever since being back in Tree Hill, everything seemed more complicated.

The cab-driver blew the horn. It was time to go.

* * *

In the cab, she stared out of the window at the places she knew so well. As they drove pass the Rivercourt, she saw a silhouette of someone playing basketball. Lucas.

She hesitated for a moment then -  
« Wait! » she told the cab-driver « Could you pull-up please? I'll be right back » she got out, composed herself and went to him.

He saw her coming and smiled « Hey you! You having trouble sleeping too? »

She shook her head « No, I just got woken up »

Lucas was about to ask by what but he saw the cab « What's with the cab? » he asked suddenly frowning.

She took a deep breath « I'm leaving Luke, I'm going back to LA »

« What? No you can't! What about the label? You said last night that you were staying! That group was going to sign with you! »

« They phoned this morning, they changed their minds. I'm sorry Luke, you'll have your money back »

Lucas was now irritated « I don't care about the money Peyton! So you're just going to leave because of one little failure? That's not the Peyton I know! »

Peyton got irritated too « Yeah well that Peyton's gone! Don't pretend like you know me Lucas because let's be honest here, we don't even know each other anymore! We haven't spoken in two years and now you expect me to be like before? »

Lucas sighed « I know it's been a long time but you can't tell me that this last week hasn't felt like before for you? For us? »

Peyton looked away, knowing it had.

Lucas took her by the shoulders and said gently « I don't want to lose you again Peyton, I need you to stay. You've got to keep trying, give it a couple of days and I'm sure you'll find other artists »

Seeing the faith he had in her was too much for Peyton. She was reminded of her brother Derek's words a long time ago. She couldn't keep letting him save her. She had to do it alone and LA was the best way for that.

« The deal was one week Lucas. You said I should try one week. I did, it didn't work out, now it's time to go »

Lucas' face fell.

« I'm sorry » she said walking away before he could protest again.

Lucas watched her go, numb. He wanted to run after her, tell her not to leave but he knew there was not point. She'd made up her mind and there was no stopping her.


	12. Turning point

**A/N : **here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!

* * *

**Chapter 12 : ********Turning point**

Lucas was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He'd been lying there for a while now, maybe an hour or more, he didn't know. He kept replaying in his head the scene at the Rivercourt and everytime he thought about it, there was that « idiot » light flashing above his head, telling him to say something or do something to stop her from leaving.

His phone was ringing but he didn't even bother to look at it. He knew it was Brooke. She had been trying to call him at least 10 times already. Surely to see how he was feeling. He wondered if Peyton had just left without saying goodbye or if she had told Brooke and the others that she was leaving. If she hadn't, that meant Brooke must be mad and that was why she was calling : to figure out if he knew she'd left.

He thought about movies that he'd seen where the hero races to the airport to stop the girl from leaving. He thought about doing so for a split second but this was real life right? These things only worked in movies.

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. He didn't bother getting up to open, he figured it must be Haley or Nathan who'd heard the news and would be worried about him.

There was another knock. And again, more urgently this time.

The door opened, even as he yelled « Go away! »

He looked to his left, to see who had come in, and then -

« Peyton! » he said getting off the bed quickly, shocked and still not quite believing his eyes.

But the pretty Blondie was really standing there, in the doorway, smiling. He smiled faintly back, still confused at what she was doing here and scared to even believe it was real. He opened his mouth to ask but Peyton put her hand up to stop him.

« I was sitting there, in the waiting room » she started « And when they made the announcement for my plane I couldn't bring myself to get up. I was sitting there thinking that when the band called, my dream of having a record label, my dream of making it in the music industry shattered. » She paused « I realized it was a dream that didn't come true and I was reminded of the State Championship. That night you told me that I was the one you wanted next to you when all your dreams came true »

She paused to take her breath and Lucas smiled at the mention of that memorable night

« And then I thought » she continued « what about when your dreams don't come true? What happens then? Who would you have wanted standing next to you? And who do _I _want standing next to _me_ » she paused again « And then I realized » she was now smiling and she started quoting him « It's you. When all my dreams _don't _come true. The one I want standing next to me, it's you. »

Lucas laughed at how she'd changed the words. His heart was now beating fast. He made a move to come closer but she hadn't finished talking

« And if my dreams are going to come true, then they should come true, here, in Tree Hill, with you. »

There was a silence

« Finished? » he asked

She nodded faintly

« Good » he said « cause I've been dying to do this » he took her head in his hands and kissed her softly.

She kissed him back, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks.

* * *

They were now both lying on the bed, Peyton's head resting on Lucas' chest.

« I should really go see Brooke now » Peyton repeated for what seemed like the tenth time « she's going to be so mad at me that I just left a note to say goodbye! » she straightened up so that she could see his face

« Oh I'm sure she'll forgive you once you tell her you're staying for good » Lucas reassured

« Yeah but still, I should go and see her before she disowns me! »

« Oh come on just five more minutes, I only just got you back »

Peyton smiled « I guess five more minutes won't do any harm » she gave in before leaning in to kiss him.

However, just at that moment, there was a loud bang on the door. Lucas and Peyton jumped and got off the bed quickly. Before Lucas could even say 'come in' the door opened with a bang.

They heard Brooke before they even saw her. « I am going to kill that girl! » she snarled as she entered the room in fury.

And then the shock. Standing there were Peyton and Lucas, both grinning at her.

The two blonds waited for a reaction but the brunette was actually speechless which was unusual. Her eyes just travelled back and forth from Luke to her best friend.

« Say something! » Peyton implored, twisting her fingers « I'm sorry I left that stupid note but I changed my mind, I'm staying! »

« I am torn between the need to kick your ass and the need to hug you » she half smiled but was still clearly angry and a little hurt too.

« I know, I'm sorry I really wasn't thinking straight » she apologized

Just then, Nathan and Haley appeared in the doorway. Their concerned looks transformed into happy smiles when they saw Peyton.

Nathan looked at Haley « did we just land in L.A? » he joked

« You stayed! » Haley said overjoyed « We came to check on Luke, but I see there was no need to wo- » she stopped suddenly realizing the awkwardness that was in the air

« Okay why isn't there squealing and hugging? » she asked looking from Brooke to Peyton

« Brooke's still deciding if she's mad at Peyton or if she wants to hug her » Lucas explained

« Oh come on just kiss and make up already! » Nathan said rolling his eyes

Brooke looked at Peyton who smiled apologetically again

« Cheesy group hug? » Peyton suggested warily

Nathan and Lucas looked at each other as if she was mad « lame » they said at the same time.

Brooke looked severe for a moment but then she looked over at Haley and smiling she exclaimed « hell yeah! »

Both girls ran towards Peyton squealing and the three of them hugged while Nathan and Luke looked in amazement at each other. « Girls » they said, shaking their heads as if they would never be able to understand them.

* * *

Back at Brooke and Peyton's house, the gang were all sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Some of them really watching, some just staring. They had all came round to bid farewell to Rachel who'd just left for the airport. She was going back to New York, as planned. They were feeling a little sad but they knew that she would come and visit soon.

Brooke who was sitting next to Peyton told her « It's a good job you decided to stay ! If not it would have been two friends leaving me on the same day and I would have been sitting here alone eating ice cream »

Peyton smiled « Tree Hill is home. I don't know how I could have ever doubted that »

« Well you know what they say, 'home is where the heart is' » she winked « I'm glad Luke and you found your way back to each other »

Peyton smiled and looked over at Lucas who was laughing at something that had happened on TV. He noticed her looking over and smiled back. He then discreetly jerked his head in the direction of the balcony, trying to make her understand that she should make some sort of excuse so not to offend the others and come and join him in the balcony in a few minutes. She openned her eyes big, trying to make him understand that it would be really obvious. But of course they couldn't understand all that by just a jerk of the head and big eyes so they both ended up being confused as to if the other had understood what the other had meant.

Lucas was about to jerk his head again to insist when Nathan who was sitting next to him burst out « For God's sake! Peyton, Luke wants some alone time with you. On the balcony. » he sighed « Jeez, you two were driving me nuts! And no, Luke you weren't being discreet at all » he added seeing Lucas' shocked face at his outburst. The girls all laughed.

« No really you suck Luke. At least I was good at that! Peyton and I used to have a signal, didn't we Peyt? » he added raising his eyebrows dramatically at her

« Dude, shut up! » Haley and Peyton both said at the same time.

« Okay lovebirds just go already! We don't mind! »

Lucas got up and Peyton followed him out under the childish banter of the others, amused at teasing them.

As soon as her foot was on the balcony, Lucas grabbed her arm, pulled her close and kissed her « Man, I've been dying to do that all night » he said. Then he paused for a moment before saying «I love you»

Peyton looked touched and pleased but a little bit surprised too. Lucas noticed and said « It shouldn't really surprise you. I've never stopped loving you, even after all this time »

She nodded « I know, I just wasn't expecting it » she smiled « I love you too Luke. I really do »

« Good » he said « cause I'm not planning on letting you go, ever again »

« And I'm not planning on going anywhere, ever again »

They kissed again and stayed out a while until they decided they should go back to their friends.

« Did we miss anything? » Peyton asked when they came back

« Well we were talking and I realized something » Haley started « I want to sing again. With you. »

« You want to sing with me? » Peyton asked confused

« No, you goof! I want you to sign me, I want to be your first artist »

Peyton opened her mouth slightly in amazement « Really? Hales, that's amazing! » she went to hug her « Are you sure you want to sign with me? »

« I can't think of anybody else I would rather have signing me » she said smiling happily

Peyton grinned back and hugged her again, soon joined by Brooke who wanted to join in the hug too

« Oh no, here they go again with their cheesy group hug » Nathan teased.

Once the hug had broken up, they all started chatting about Hales and their plans for the next few days.

« Oh and Peyton? » Nathan said suddenly serious « No Chris Keller or I will hunt you down » he finished, breaking into a smile.

« Yeah and no Pete from Fall Out Boy » Lucas added raising one eyebrow at Peyton

They all burst out laughing again.

Peyton looked around the room. She smiled. Things were finally looking up for her.


End file.
